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Married or Simply Roommates

Posted by on in The Upward Call
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Roommate PosterTell me what I am describing to you. Two people who live under the same roof; they share the bills so that they can get by. They share the cleaning duties of the home and the yardwork. They sleep in different rooms. They have different accounts. They each have their own television to watch their own shows separately. They spend less than 5 minutes a day talking to one another. This goes on day after day after day until they sometimes decide to split and get their own place.


Does this sound like a marriage or roommates to you? Unfortunately, this is becoming more commonplace among marriages, but it is a more applicable description of roommates. Roommates simply share a living space and the costs and chores of it because it is convenient or a financial necessity. Many in our world are simply choosing to live together, even if it is under the guise of a marriage, because of convenience or necessity, but not under the connection of love or commitment.


If you lose a roommate, it is not the end of the world. You can get another one. Marriage is not the same. God made us to be separate, male and female, but He intended us to become one when we married (Mark 10:8). Sometimes when people hear this, they think of the sexual union of a man and a woman, but this is not what God is talking about. He is talking about taking two people who are living separate lives, like roommates, and joining them in a unity that does not exist anywhere else except in the Trinity.


People who used to only think about themselves begin to think of others as more important. Communication begins to become prominent as two separate paths are merging into one. Two different lines of thinking are beginning to look similar. Two households become one. The description that I have given of many marriages today is not what God intended where people are existing in the same home, but they are not sharing their lives with each other while they live together.


One of the blessings of having been married over 25 years is that marriage is still exciting. I don’t know everything about my wife yet. We are at a different period of our life and new things are still on the horizon, so I don’t get to retire from marriage and think I have it all figured out because of the time I have put in. I must keep active in the marriage process. I must keep striving to become that one flesh with my wife that God intended. I hope you will do the same if you are married. Don’t be satisfied with simply being roommates! There is so much more that marriage should and could be. Strive to intertwine your life with your mate. It is worth whatever the price.

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